Where I come to find....

I have struggled with finding where my worth and happiness come from

I have looked in all the wrong places...

"Lord, I am begging you to hold on tight

right now as I pour my heart out in hope for my future

In hope you wont let go

Im giving you my life

and bearing it all for you"

(side prayer, before I begin to let it all come out)

I am broken

I struggle with finding my innocence

probably due to my past of...

pain, a selfish, unhealthy kind of love, and the tight grip evil had on me

I was numb to life, to God's love, his very presence was absent

I was consumed by a worldly sin that was out of my hands

out of my control

(Have you ever been in a situation that is 100%

out of your control that you cannot explain

and are to afraid to change?)

When everything in my world is

crashing down, spinning, and paused as the world around continues on

these are the moments when He draws me near, takes my hand and never lets go

never lets go

he never let go

I get taken back to these moments...

Like I go through seasons in my life where I forget, where I don't believe.

Like it was all a dream

(and I wish it all was)

And then I open eyes to see God's face staring back at me

and wrapped in His arms

man he holds on tight.

more to come... just had to get this off my heavy heart

My hope is in God for this one..

Let your Hope be His Hope

Most Inspiring...

Today, My mom told me that I am going to make a guy very lucky one day.

That means a lot coming from her.

My mom is one of the most inspiring people you will ever meet

She takes my breath away

Her impact on the world with her kindness is contagious

She loves with a love that is eternal and whole and all-encompassing.

A few words to describe her:

loving

motherly

beautiful(inside and out)

faithful

serving

contagious

strong...beyond measure

determined

devoted

supportive

tender

lovely

etc..

Everyday I am grateful for her -- that I get to be her daughter.

I hope to become like her one day

and make a guy very lucky ;)

Breaking through

3 weeks ago I underestimated God

I would not recommend attempting this unless you are looking to be radically moved from your current state of comfort.

3 weeks ago I wasn't ready

Sometimes God's timing happens to be at your highest level of fear

3 weeks ago I didn't have hope to pursue the dreams in my heart

When you realize that God is the one who placed those dreams in your heart, you realize that they are not possible without him

3 weeks ago I weighed 119

I now weigh 110

3 weeks ago I started a fast.. in order to find a breakthrough

I found more than what I was looking for

I broke-through.

Before I die...

1. Give Blood

2. Scuba Dive

3. Hold a community event, bringing awareness to Invisible Children

4. Learn the guitar

5. Write a book

6. Save a Life

7. Bungee Jump

8. Meet my husband

9. Make a child's wish come true from the Make a Wish Foundation

10. Change lives in Africa

11. Complete a Triathlon

12. Fall asleep under the stars

13. Preach a sermon

14. Graduate College

15. Learn to Surf

16.Go Sailing

17. Open my own coffee shop

18. Get my lip pierced

19. Save a puppy

20. Write a message in a bottle and throw it in the ocean

21. Plant a Tree

22. Hug a Stranger

23. Get Baptized

24. Take a Taxi

to be continued..

The Buried Life

My new favorite show on t.v. is The Buried Life

1 Question. 4 guys. 100 things to do before you die.

While on their to mission to complete the list, for every one marked off they help a stranger cross off one of their list.

They help encourage other to go after their list

All while asking the question: "What do you want to do before you die?"

They have inspired me.. to write my own list

and to go after the dreams in my heart.

A Dream on the Horizon...

I have a new dream in the making...

Its going to be HUGE

be prepared.

I am not going to be afraid of failure...

failing would be me not chasing after this dream and passion in my heart.

I believe my dream will change lives

and radically open the hearts of the people in my city.

More details to come :)

please remember to be kind to people, all people.

nobody should cry when they need laughter.

Weaknesses into Strengths

There is nothing to boast about when you become comfortable with living by your weaknesses

I am guilty of this.

On multiple occasions.

Where I have let my weaknesses, failures, and doubts control my potential happiness.

So in other words, I am selling myself short on my own happiness scale from 1-10

Letting my weaknesses overcome my strengths automatically eliminates me from ever hitting a 10 on my happiness scale.

You cant put limits on your own happiness... it should be endless .

Overcoming my weaknesses,

failures,

and doubts

and turning them into

strengths

victories

and possibilities.

This is not possible without God.

Actually, Do not even try and attempt this without Him.

You need Him

He has grace, compassion, forgiveness, hope, humility, patience...He has the perfect plan for you and me

Find your Hope in Him, and your strengths will soon overcome your weaknesses.

This has been a rough day... but a good one

I am learning to accept the person God is planning me to be, I am learning to love His ways more than my own, I am learning that Satan cant stand a chance against the love and delight Jesus finds in me.. and that alone gives me strength

Hope for my future and of Yours <3