silence

some silence would be nice, and maybe an overflowing cup of grace, an unshakeable amount of faith, and an understanding that God has a constant desire for me.

Here I am

Sometimes the weight of the world is unfair.

I let it have to much power and influence over my life

over things I say

things I hold back

how I limit my love

what makes me happy

bitterness I hold

grace I receive

God make me whole

invade my heavy heart

change me

I lay me down

I need you

seek you

Here I am

rainy days and everything that comes along...

what a wonderful rainy day it was

coffee in the morning with my beautiful sister and mom

after school i came home to find myself locked out of my house

decided to take myself out to lunch

pluto's tri-tip steak sandwich...

and Sex God

A book that I have read about 3-4 times

I opened it to a random page in the chapter

Worth Dying For

and read this

"Do you realize? You don't need a man by your side to validate you as a woman. You already are loved and valued. You're good enough exactly as you are. Do you believe this? Because it's true. You have limitless worth and value. If you embrace this truth, it will affect every area of life, especially your relationship with men. You are worth dying for. Your worth does not come from your body, your mind, your work, what you produce, what you put out, how much money you make. Your worth does not come from whether or not you have a man. Your worth does not come from whether or not men notice you. You have inestimable worth that comes from your creator....But you don't have to give yourself away to earn a man's love. You're better than that. You're already loved."

I know that was a long quote

but totally worth it

I sat there for awhile in Plutos (of all places)

and had an intimate moment with my creator.

wrestled with the fact that I am worth dying for

Really?? I mean come on??

And I felt right there,the second I doubted,

disappointment.

God was disappointed in me for a second.

I felt it... and never want to feel it again.

but in that moment, after doubt...I realized

I am worth dying for

just speaking these words brought me to tears...

and yes, I am still in Plutos.

I was thought about

I was designed

crafted

I am fragile

I am valued

I have purpose

I am pure

I am loved

and looking around with blurred vision from the tears..

I saw people worth dying for.

people are worth dying for.

people that God created... people that God finds joy in, people that don't believe in him, people that make mistakes, people who believe they are not beautiful, people who follow their dreams, people that sacrifice, people who need to be loved, people who need to know God's love

and that no matter what...fill in the blank

No matter,what I said or didn't say, should have or shouldn't have done, believed or not... say it

out loud

(You) I am worth dying for.