Where I come to find....

I have struggled with finding where my worth and happiness come from

I have looked in all the wrong places...

"Lord, I am begging you to hold on tight

right now as I pour my heart out in hope for my future

In hope you wont let go

Im giving you my life

and bearing it all for you"

(side prayer, before I begin to let it all come out)

I am broken

I struggle with finding my innocence

probably due to my past of...

pain, a selfish, unhealthy kind of love, and the tight grip evil had on me

I was numb to life, to God's love, his very presence was absent

I was consumed by a worldly sin that was out of my hands

out of my control

(Have you ever been in a situation that is 100%

out of your control that you cannot explain

and are to afraid to change?)

When everything in my world is

crashing down, spinning, and paused as the world around continues on

these are the moments when He draws me near, takes my hand and never lets go

never lets go

he never let go

I get taken back to these moments...

Like I go through seasons in my life where I forget, where I don't believe.

Like it was all a dream

(and I wish it all was)

And then I open eyes to see God's face staring back at me

and wrapped in His arms

man he holds on tight.

more to come... just had to get this off my heavy heart

My hope is in God for this one..

Let your Hope be His Hope

Most Inspiring...

Today, My mom told me that I am going to make a guy very lucky one day.

That means a lot coming from her.

My mom is one of the most inspiring people you will ever meet

She takes my breath away

Her impact on the world with her kindness is contagious

She loves with a love that is eternal and whole and all-encompassing.

A few words to describe her:

loving

motherly

beautiful(inside and out)

faithful

serving

contagious

strong...beyond measure

determined

devoted

supportive

tender

lovely

etc..

Everyday I am grateful for her -- that I get to be her daughter.

I hope to become like her one day

and make a guy very lucky ;)

Breaking through

3 weeks ago I underestimated God

I would not recommend attempting this unless you are looking to be radically moved from your current state of comfort.

3 weeks ago I wasn't ready

Sometimes God's timing happens to be at your highest level of fear

3 weeks ago I didn't have hope to pursue the dreams in my heart

When you realize that God is the one who placed those dreams in your heart, you realize that they are not possible without him

3 weeks ago I weighed 119

I now weigh 110

3 weeks ago I started a fast.. in order to find a breakthrough

I found more than what I was looking for

I broke-through.

Before I die...

1. Give Blood

2. Scuba Dive

3. Hold a community event, bringing awareness to Invisible Children

4. Learn the guitar

5. Write a book

6. Save a Life

7. Bungee Jump

8. Meet my husband

9. Make a child's wish come true from the Make a Wish Foundation

10. Change lives in Africa

11. Complete a Triathlon

12. Fall asleep under the stars

13. Preach a sermon

14. Graduate College

15. Learn to Surf

16.Go Sailing

17. Open my own coffee shop

18. Get my lip pierced

19. Save a puppy

20. Write a message in a bottle and throw it in the ocean

21. Plant a Tree

22. Hug a Stranger

23. Get Baptized

24. Take a Taxi

to be continued..

The Buried Life

My new favorite show on t.v. is The Buried Life

1 Question. 4 guys. 100 things to do before you die.

While on their to mission to complete the list, for every one marked off they help a stranger cross off one of their list.

They help encourage other to go after their list

All while asking the question: "What do you want to do before you die?"

They have inspired me.. to write my own list

and to go after the dreams in my heart.

A Dream on the Horizon...

I have a new dream in the making...

Its going to be HUGE

be prepared.

I am not going to be afraid of failure...

failing would be me not chasing after this dream and passion in my heart.

I believe my dream will change lives

and radically open the hearts of the people in my city.

More details to come :)

please remember to be kind to people, all people.

nobody should cry when they need laughter.

Weaknesses into Strengths

There is nothing to boast about when you become comfortable with living by your weaknesses

I am guilty of this.

On multiple occasions.

Where I have let my weaknesses, failures, and doubts control my potential happiness.

So in other words, I am selling myself short on my own happiness scale from 1-10

Letting my weaknesses overcome my strengths automatically eliminates me from ever hitting a 10 on my happiness scale.

You cant put limits on your own happiness... it should be endless .

Overcoming my weaknesses,

failures,

and doubts

and turning them into

strengths

victories

and possibilities.

This is not possible without God.

Actually, Do not even try and attempt this without Him.

You need Him

He has grace, compassion, forgiveness, hope, humility, patience...He has the perfect plan for you and me

Find your Hope in Him, and your strengths will soon overcome your weaknesses.

This has been a rough day... but a good one

I am learning to accept the person God is planning me to be, I am learning to love His ways more than my own, I am learning that Satan cant stand a chance against the love and delight Jesus finds in me.. and that alone gives me strength

Hope for my future and of Yours <3

Hope in Laughter :)

Laughter is the key to happiness

foundation of joy

a sign of beauty

solution to peace

an inspiration to love

& a reason to live

Have Hope for more laughter in your life <3

i do

Perfect day... with Purpose...

Per-fect:adj- As good as it possibly could be, free from any flaw or defect, my day today :)

I woke up this morning, just like any other morning...

my little sister plopping herself right on top of me "Wake up AhhPooo!"

She is a delight to wake up to and puts the first smile on my face.

Grabbed a banana and water and headed out to Park Dr.

I have this routine where I stretch at the top of the park, pray, and then I am ready to dominate the pavement!

I have never been a runner.. I am a swimmer.

Swimmers hate running.. with a deep passion

The only thing that keeps me running, You ask??

God speaks clear, crystal clear to me

He speaks to my heart, dreams, fears, struggles, relationships, insecurities, hurts, inspirations, failures, hopes, wishes... He speaks life into to me:

PURPOSE!

after my dose of PURPOSE....

i freshened up and headed to the mall to find my BFF a birthday gift :)

My legs felt like jello, and stairs were impossible to tackle... needless to say, the couch and CSi was calling my name.

zzz zz z zzz zzz zzzz

A few zzz's out of the way and Im off to the movies with Bree

The Lovely Bones = saddest movie

I love coming home to my wonderful parents... still madly in love after a date night :)

Hands down, I have the best dad in the world...

I made myself stir fry, side of bread, and a glass of water

becoming at peace with myself, learning to love myself , take care of myself... and liking me for me

Giving myself Hope for my Future :)

i have hope for you too

and I hope you find a PER-FECT day

Hope for Africa

Join the movement to rescue child soldiers and end a war... please read more

The Issue

A 9-year-old boy in the suburbs should not be kidnapped from his home and forced to fight as an abducted soldier. If this is true in the United States, we believe it is true in Uganda and in the Congo. We have discovered that young people across North America believe this as well, and are uniting in their local communities to fight this injustice a world away.

For the last 24 years, a rebel leader named Joseph Kony has been waging war in central Africa, terrorizing communities and abducting 30,000 children to be his soldiers. Over 2 million people have been displaced in central Africa as a result of the violence.

This crisis continues today with minimal international attention.

Our big idea is big indeed: rescue the child soldiers of Northern Uganda with the help of young advocates across North America, end the longest running war in Africa, and rebuild what was lost.

The Plan

The plan is to bring this war to an end and return these children to their homes by expanding the youth movement already in motion. Invisible Children makes documentaries about war-affected kids in Northern Uganda and tours them across the continent, exposing the youth of North America to their stories. We then equip them to band together and become activists seeking to end this war. Hundreds of thousands of people have already risen to the call. With donations of less than $20 from students across the world, we have managed to put 760 Ugandans in school, rebuild 11 war-destroyed schools, and implement microeconomic programs to jump start village economies. With the Your help, we can dream bigger and finish what we started. We will finally spread the story of child soldiers into theaters, dramatically increasing exposure and improving our advocacy efforts. With exposure and program funding, we can rebuild more Ugandan schools, provide more education, and better economic development.

The Outcome

The outcome is peace in Uganda and an end to this war. The outcome is a generation of young Americans believing in the power of their voice and hard work.

Just one of my passions to expose what is going on in Africa.

I don't believe the word INVISIBLE should ever be used to describe a child's state.

These beautiful children need your help... please visit invisiblechildren.com

My tattoo

Sometimes I forget that I have this tattooed on my foot...

I wish I remembered more often

Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give You the desires of Your heart <3

The Bachelor

Today,

Watching The Bachelor...Honestly gave the warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Of course any girl is going to feel this way when, A. Jake is extremely gorgeous. B. He flies you in a plane while wearing aviators. and C. Takes you to a private concert to dance the night away. I must say I am a hopeless romantic. But what I figured out today while watching these 15 girls try and win over Jake's heart is that I am so lucky to have a God that knows my desires and my every need. That the man he places in my life will be able to give me more than just those warm and fuzzies. Of course the romantic lovey dovey stuff is always welcome... I am looking for raw, naked unconditional, forgiving, desirable, untainted, whole-some, natural, pure love. A love that is stripped down from the outside beauty and still stands firmly by the raw beauty on the inside, with no hesitation.

With that said, I wish the best for Jake and the lucky girl... but my heart goes out to the girls who didn't win his heart. I hope you find what you are looking for.

and what do you know, my favorite holiday is exactly one month away :)

I am a strong believer in Valentines Day.

Spreading the message of love, deserves its own day.

Single?(like me)

I encourage you to find love in something new, uncomfortable and worth remembering.

Find love in the poor, sick, needy, hopeless, lost, hungry, forgotten.

Find love in the ugly parts of your life.. and trust me the love will continue to grow way past Valentines Day.

Hope in my future and Hope for this World

and of course You!