may.

It will be June a day from now.

May is coming to an end.

This month I can't even begin to describe to you the

craziness, tiredness, laughter, hope, tears, new-beginnings and confusion.

I feel as if I might need to take a week of solitude to debrief... ponder... wonder.... gather thoughts and re-create peace, steady waves, and a full heart of grace, compassion, tenderness, hope, and love.

Sometimes I am unable to fully understand God's overflowing deep intimate love He has for me and His children.

It's humbling to know that I serve a God that never runs out of grace, favor, love and likeness...

I can't do it all. I can't compete with God. I need him.

My old youth pastor, someone I really look up to and who has greatly contributed to the person I am today, recently just wrote in his Life Journal, "To be helped is to be humbled."

I need God's help. I need humbling. Everyday.

This month, I wish I was humbled more.

I freaked out, worried too much, gave up, got off track.

What May didn't fall short of or lacked in any way was friends and family.

I have discovered friendships that I value and treasure.

I found friends in my life that I would do anything for.

My family is closer than ever... My brothers and sisters are becoming best friends.

We are learning to count on one another. I am happy. These are lifelong relationships that God chose for me. In other words. I don't just love them because I have to. I choose to. I want to.

This will be a May to remember... and turning 20 really wasn't so bad.

June is the start of something new. I have hope for June.